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Dear Master Mini Dad,
I'm having problems getting my son's sag setting right. He rides a '98 King Cobra and he weighs 92 lbs. I'm sure with your infinite wealth of knowledge you can help me.
Saggy Ass in Indiana
Dear Saggy Ass,
I have searched the expansive space that is my wealth of knowledge and have two suggestions: 1) You're never too young for slim fast (particularly because a few pounds of baby fat is worth a few hundred dollars in titanium fasteners); 2) Sell the King Cobra and give the boy your YZ125 -- your wife never lets you ride it anyway.
Yo, mini dad guy,
We race a 2001 KX 65. My son is not a big kid nor is he an aggressive rider, but we have broken the frame welds at the steering head. What can we do to prevent this?
Jimmy's Dad
Jersey
Yo, chowder head,
When yous says dat "we race," I will assume dat you mean yer boy races and dat you watch. However, if in fact you dos race dat 2001 KX65, den dat is most likely why yous frame is breakin'. My advice ta you is ta call up ol' Saggy Ass and see if yous can race his 125 when his boy is done wit it.
Dear mini dad,
Why do all the parents lift the rear end of their kid's bike while junior revs the engine at the start line? Is there any advantage to this or are they just cleaning the rear tire?
Spinning my wheels
Rockford, Ill.
Dear Spinning,
Many liquid cooled 50cc bikes have the water pump impeller mounted on the right side of the countershaft. Therefore, the coolant will only circulate when the countershaft is spinning, so lifting the rear end is necessary to allow the tire to spin and pump coolant through the engine, combating horsepower-robbing heat. As for the guys doing this in the PeeWee class, where the bikes are air-cooled, well, they just think it looks cool.
Dear mini dad,
My son has been racing for three years but due to family problems I haven't taken him to the track in a while. My wife has been sleeping with another racer's father at our local track. I guess my question is: Should I make him stop racing or should I kick my wife out and take my son back to the track?
Lane Glenn
Aurora, Ill.
Dear Lane,
First, get a new name. "Lane" is almost as gay as "Gary" or "Bruce." Second, you should never let the fact that your wife is a harlot get in the way of your son's racing. Third, make sure your son beats the son of your wife's man whore in the next moto or this guy will have taken your manhood in more than one way. Fourth, avoid physical confrontation with the man whore -- not only is it wrong to display violence in front of the kids but if he was man enough to take your wife, he's probably man enough to kick your ass.
Finally, tell your wife to give us a call. A pink Fox tank top found its way to our lost-and-found box from the back of midwestmotocross.com Editor James Holter's truck and we'd like to give it back.
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