While most guys have a few hellish rides to recount, midwestmotocross.com Senior Correspondent Mike Keefe has few that aren't. How bad is it? The string began in the summer of 1999 with a 1981 KDX420 and has gone downhill from there.

However, circumstances suggest that the nadir of Mike's spiraling descent into dirt bike hell is within sight, if not behind him. On the evening of Saturday Aug. 4, 2001, Mike, by hook or by crook, absconded into the night with a 1998 YZ400F -- a hardly ridden specimen complete with a White Brothers titanium/carbon fiber exhaust, Pro Taper handlebars and numerous other goodies.

But before the significance of this acquisition can be properly grasped, it's necessary to be aware of what a typical riding trip with Mike involves. A few representative examples are in order.

October 1999: Mike and I capped a great day of fall riding at Buffalo Range (400 acres of woods, sand and motocross) in Ottawa, Ill., with Mike running his KDX420 into one foot of mud and two feet of water. Partially lost, with darkness 45 minutes away and having no tools on hand, we abandoned the bike with plans to return for it the next day. "If someone can drag that 300-lb. bike out of the woods, they've earned it," Mike rationalized. Well, no one earned it (or wanted it), and the next morning the KDX was where we left it. After pouring what seemed like nearly two gallons of water out of the pipe and top end, the bike started with a new plug and a few kicks. The next ride an odd rattle developed inside the side cover. We investigated and found the primary gear nut had backed completely off the crankshaft. Related to the dump in the creek? Unlikely, but this marked the beginning of the end for the KDX, otherwise known as "Bessie."

March 2000: We arrived at the Badlands (700 acres of woods and sandpits) in Attica, Ind., with my CR250 and Mike's KDX in tow. Bessie just came off a chassis rebuild and looked much cleaner than its 19 years would suggest. Unfortunately, the bike didn't take too well to the engine "modification" we mistakenly made the night before, which occurred when we unintentionally started it with the ignition cover and flywheel nut removed. (midwestmotocross.com tech tip #1: If you ever need to remove a flywheel and don't have a puller, this is one way to do it.) This adjustment to the electronic ignition system, resulting from the cracked magnets, caused the beast to run hot enough to melt a hole in the gas tank and blister the 1,500-degree tolerant paint we sprayed on the exhaust pipe. Bessie lived for about five minutes afterward and hasn't started since.

October 2000: Again at the Badlands -- did I mention this is a four-hour drive? -- Mike's ride is now a 1988 KX250, graciously purchased from yours truly. Mike rode the bike (a.k.a. "Trigger") approximately 20 feet from the truck before it threw the chain, which proceeded to bunch up around the shift shaft, snapping it off at the cases. This was the first ride on this shift shaft, which Mike finally broke down and purchased after the welds holding the shifter to the stripped-off old shaft kept breaking. Thanks to a clutch that wouldn't disengage, which had something to do with the CR500 springs we dropped into the basket to offset a previous screw up, and the shaft snapping while in gear the bike wouldn't start. With Mike stewing in my truck, I was left alone to perform some slick maintenance, and we did get the KX going -- just well enough for Mike to get half way up the wall of a sand pit before the bike spit off the countershaft sprocket. (I didn't tell Mike until, well, just now, but I loosened up the clutch by replacing the CR500 springs with four -- six is standard -- of his original 250 springs, tightening all the slack possible out of the clutch cable and giving the clutch plates a very liberal dousing of WD-40.)

continue...