Quick twist throttles are not always enough. Sometimes the kids still dog it. To fix this problem once and for all, we suggest a toggle switch mod to replace the throttle. This way, when the boy is on the gas, he's on the gas! Of course, this comes with the risk that the little bugger will leave it off too long, but that can be fixed with a timed relay. For beginners, it can be set to kick back on full bore automatically after four seconds. Advanced riders can have theirs set to one second.

One of the most annoying things for a minidad is to watch your kid goon around the track with his elbows sagging down at his sides. "Get those elbows up!" is a common refrain at many the race track. This piece of gear will extend from the shoulder down to the forearm and be fabricated of heavy-duty neoprene or plastic. It will help keep the mini racer properly positioned and save the father from much embarrassment back in the pits.

This is a no-brainer. When the seat is compressed for too long, say a couple seconds, which is all the longer it should take a good rider to round even the longest sweeper, a gentle electric shock will remind the boy to stand up. This will keep the rider on his legs going down the straights and over jumps.

Sometimes kids either don't remember or they get too tired to keep their heads over the handlebars. This is vital because proper weight distribution is essential to proper traction. This device is simply a string that attaches to the top of the helmet and the front fender. Cut to a custom length for each kid, it will force him to lean forward when he stands up. This could be packaged with the Seat Shocker(TM) and fixed elbow pads in some kind of combo deal. (See, we're always thinking here.)

Safety always comes first with us, so we tell our kids to forget about the freestyle stuff at least until they're on 65s. Anyhow, bustin' phat moves doesn't win trophies. This device is extremely elegant in its simplicity. These are gloves that are permanently bonded to the grips on the bike. First, it keeps the kid's hands secured on the bars at all times. Second (and this is the best part), the throttle hand (assuming the Toggle Throttle(TM) isn't being employed) can be rotated forward several degrees; this ensures that when the boy has his wrist at the most comfortable position, the throttle is fully open.

Face it. You're getting old. Once the kid starts riding like he should, there's no way you're going to keep up with him around the track, which you need to do so he can benefit from a constant stream of your sage advice. This light, aluminum-framed, suspended, single axle wagon can fasten to the back of your boy's bike. Riding in this wagon, you'll be certain he'll always be able to heed the wisdom you constantly bellow from your bowels. Of course, your kid will be slowed down a bit, but this will only make him faster when the wagon comes off. Think about it. If he's doing the double with the wagon, he'll easily do the triple without it!

Doesn't it just piss you off when you kid rolls in at pathetic second or third and the guy whose boy won the race is standing there all proud and happy congratulating his son? With these special wheels, you can discretely pop up an extra layer of aluminum that gives the illusion the rim is busted. Then, pushing the bike past the SOB whose kid won, you can say something like, "Second even with a broken rim doesn't cut it boy! Shit, this kid who won this po-dunk race couldn't even qualify at a regional. Last year you won a moto at Loretta's with two flat tires. Next time, don't worry about crashing and just lap the kid." Make sure the winning dad's kid hears this. It's very important to break his confidence before the next race.

Did you know certain electrical devices can interfere with non-resistor type plugs? This device could be used to sabotage rivals on the track. When any kid but yours rounds the corner where you're standing, just press a button and the bike will surely die. Try to position yourself as far as possible from the kid's father. That way, if the boy needs help restarting his bike, the dad will have to run all the way across the track to do so.

Races are won in the corners. We all know that. And one of the most important things is to dive as far into the corner as possible before touching those brakes. With this, the brake control is taken out of the hands of the child and put into the hands of the father who, of course, has much better judgement of when the kid should start to slow down (if at all). Sure, there will be a few soil samples before the boy gets used to railing it like he should, but such is the price of speed. Plus, as the boy gets used to the father applying the brakes, it builds father/son trust. This is a good thing.