The Mini Dad Chronicles: Surviving the minicross money pit By Mike Keefe

Here at midwestmotocross.com, we realize that racing is an expensive endeavor, whether at local tracks, qualifiers or nationals. Between bikes, parts, travel and entry fees, you will go through money faster than a fat cop goes through a bag of Krispy Kremes.

So, we've put our heads together and have come up with this list of things you can do to keep junior in the races. Please note that some of the suggestions aren't necessarily legal in 49 states -- West Virginia excluded, where you'll simply be shot -- and you should attempt them at your own risk. Of course, if you do get away with any feel free to drop us a line, just as long as it's not from the county jail.

1) Transfer balances between your credit cards as often as possible. This can buy you at least 6-12 months - usually plenty of time to hold out until your next income tax return.

2) Learn to pick pockets at the track. (Stay away from the guys with big motor homes; they're as broke as you and probably better at it.)

3) Florida residents can sublet their sport utility vehicle to a family of homeless Cuban refugees. They will pay good money to sleep in something with four tires (after floating for days holding on to one tire).

4) Make your wife stop buying new clothes, a true mini mom can get buy with the same pair of cut-off shorts and a Fox tank top for weeks.

5) Stealing gas cans from the four-stroke riders during one of their motos can get you enough truck fuel to haul junior to the next race. (Preferably from the Vet B guys because they're usually too fat to run you down.)

6) Weight saving parts such as titanium and carbon fiber are far too expensive. Just put junior on a diet. You'd be surprised how long a seven-year old can last on rice and iced tea.

7) If you are creative enough, you can find a way to claim your kid's bike as a dependant. (And if you find the right accountant, he can show you how to claim your kid twice if he races two classes.)

8) At today's interest rates, refinancing is always an option.

9) After refinancing and balance transfers have you more broke than an Enron stockholder, consider bankruptcy. Remember, it only stays with you for seven years. By that time, junior will be out of the mini class and on his way to a factory ride.

10) If all else fails, invest in redneck mutual funds (a.k.a., the lottery).